Scary Subway Dream about McDonalds

19 Apr

This makes me not want to eat at Subway..

Even more things make me not want to eat McDonalds. When I was a young one the mascots like those Burger King kids would entice me to bug my parents for happy type meals. McDonalds had a jump start on the mascot hustle…

Ronald You know who Ronald is…
-Sundae – Ronald’s Dawg…dog. (He looked terrible)
-Grimace a large, purple character introduced in 1971 as “Evil Grimace”. In his first two appearances, he was depicted with two pairs of arms with which to steal milkshakes and sodas. He is a family man.
 – The Hamburglar was a pint-sized thief with his muttering “robble robble.”
-Birdie the Early Bird  was the first identifiably female character promoting the company’s new breakfast items. Yellow bird, pink overalls, flight cap and scarf. She was clumsy was what she was.
– Fry Kids  are characters used to promote McDonald’s french fries. They started as Gobblins and liked to steal and gobble up the other characters’ french fries. Name change: Fry Guys to Fry Kids and female characters (the “Fry Girls”)
– Mayor McCheese a big cheeseburger with a burger for a head, a top hat, a diplomat’s sash, and a pair of pince-nez spectacles.
– Officer Big Mac (Cezl thinks this was the first black character but whatever) similar to Mayor McCheese with large Big Mac for a head, and chief of police uniform and disproportionately small custodian helmet on  his (BiG) bun head. Spent most of his time chasing the Hamburglar and Captain Crook.
-Captain Crook was a pirate (and a clear rip off of Captain Hook from Peter Pan) who first appeared in July 1970 the unofficial debut of McDonaldland (Never Land). He tried to steal Filet-O-Fish. (He was your uncle)
-The Professor (WTF)  A bearded scientist-type character in a lab coat who rarely spoke.
-The Hamburger Patch was a fictional city.  Even though hamburgers in McDonaldland were anthropomorphized and spoke, they were picked by characters such as Ronald McDonald and the Hamburglar for consumption (Separate but equal…Cezl told you he was black).
Uncle O’Grimacey – He was created to mark the annual appearance of the Shamrock Shake. O’Grimacey is the Irish uncle of the character Grimace and is a variant of the Grimace-design in that he is green instead of purple, sports a frock coat covered with several four-leaf clovers, and carries a shillelagh (a wooden walking stick for all you stupid moufs. He looked like a Grimace Leprechaun)
-The Happy Meal Gang was a hamburger, fries, and soft drink in regular size  later joined by the McNugget Buddies
-The McNugget Buddies was a bunch of chicken nuggets in regular size.  McNuggets with chicken beaks, chicken wings, and cowboy boots (and appeared in the controvercial holloween smoking propaganda that is clearly not on the internet anymore) .
– CosMc was an alien who wore a large space suit, and he talked like a surfer dude.
– Bernice was a strange creature that ate inedible things.
– Vulture (you know this guy dint last) was unnamed and spoke in a monotone voice.
– Iam Hungry (also) short-lived McDonaldland character who was the self-proclaimed “Vice President of Snacking.” He was a floating, fast-moving green fuzzball with orange arms and a monstrous face.
– Griddler (Another) short-lived McDonaldland character featured in 2 commercials to promote the McGriddles.
– Mike the Microphone was a one-time character
– Ollie Oak the singing hamburger tree at a McDonald’s OakBrook IL.
– The Trash Cans were talking twin trashcans
– Mac Tonight (last but not least and personal favorite)  was a intended to advertise McDonald’s late night hours. He had a crescent moon for a head, wore a suit and sunglasses, and was depicted as being a jazzy lounge singer. (Many woman have a Mac Tonite face).

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