Triumph the puppet dog’s cousin is Pig

8 May
Lazarus the Pig could be the cousin of Triumph the insult puppet dog from Conan show.
Lazarus the Pig - Banned Toyota commercial

Script goes as follows:
_______________________________________________
Intro - PIG: "Hi its me lazzarus the pig with HQ Toyota. Were going to go talk with all the suckers (shit eaters) out there who aren't aware HQ toyota is the best place to buy a toyota."
1.)
PIG: "Hey gramps, where did you buy this toyota?"
GRAMPS: "(beep) toyota."
PIG: "Hey don't you know that HQ toyota is number 1???"
______________________________________________________________
 
2)
Skipped guy#2 b/c it was boring
______________________________________________________________
 
3)
PIG: "Hey beautiful! Get out of the way ugly, let me talk to your woman over here. Where did you guys buy this toyota?"
GUY: "@ (beep) toyota."
PIG: "How much?"
GUY: "$35k" PIG: "Hey beautiful when they kicked him in the ass (ripped her husband off), did they leave the boot in his ass or did they take it back out???"
Guy and Girl both laugh awkwardly.
______________________________________________________________
4)
PIG: "Where did you buy your toyota?"
YOUNG GUY: "I dunno my mom bought it."
PIG: "Haha, his mom bought it, (looks at the camera) he's even more lost than you are."
______________________________________________________________
5)
Asks some random women for an interview but they decline. 
PIG starts talking to some random woman in a mini van.
PIG: "Hey baby why don't we go for a little ride you and me?"
WOMAN: "Sure ok, but you drive."
PIG: "Hey you sure are an an easy catch, but you don't like to drive?"
WOMAN: "Well no, not really."
PIG: " honey, I don't like to wipe my ass either, but I have to or my ass will smell."
______________________________________________
6)
PIG: "What did you pay for this?"
GUY IN GLASSES: "$13k"
PIG: "How big was the kick in the ass they gave you? (how bad did they rip you off)" GUY IN GLASSES laughs.
______________________________________________________________
7)
BACK TO THE THIRD COUPLE.
PIG: "Hey babe you know why they call me lazarus the pig?"
GIRL: "no, why?"
PIG: "Come here and get a little closer, I'm going to show you."
GIRL: "Oh, you're bad!"
PIG: "Have fun with that ugly guy, and have fun with the toyota too"
____________________________________________
Triumph at a glance
Conan O'Brian - Triumph the insult comic dog - Legaly Prohibited tour- Vancouver
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: