Archive | June, 2011

Sports: NBA DRAFT / FINALS REVIEW

24 Jun


Yes…Dallas won…i’ve still been celebrating….

Somewhere in there someone will say the big white man beat the three black boys.

It’s haters eating breakfast right now somewhere. For any NBA Haters…Brian Cardinal has…wait…BRIAN CARDINAL HAS A RING NOW…YOU SHOULD BE MAD…BUT DOWN YOUR BREAKFAST AND GO HIT THE LAYUP LINES…Shawn Marion got a ring….I’m even mad about that…smh…

 

THINGS THAT NEED TO HAPPEN IN THE 2012 SEASON

 

-Develop a way to have people come to away games in their home state and instead of watching the big screen they can watch holograms of players on their home floor….SMART $$$$

-Get rid of teams like the WNBA and make the League more competitive. Less team, less bums, more comp, more attendance, more money $$$$ (Good bye Nets, Clippers, Raptors, Golden State, Sacramento and oooone more)

-Chris Bosh…it was nice knowing you…see you in Minnesota or Orlando

-The Great Dwight Hope…D. Howard need a new home David Stern. A good home too. Milwaukee Bucks, Atlanta Hawks, Charlotte, Washington, Philadelphia…ok maybe not Washington but you see what I’m getting at here? DO NOT SEND HIM TO THE WEST. THE WEST HAD TEAMS WITH BETTER RECORD THAN THE EAST THAT DIDN’T EVEN MAKE IT TO THE PLAYOFFS…The East is sweeeet.

-Allen Iverson and Blake Griffen….$$$$$$

Thank me Later

I Cant Speak For All Philadelphians: Jersey Girls

24 Jun

Jersey Girls don’t pump gas…NOBODY IN DIRTY JERSEY PUMPS GAS.

 I really would trash Jersey Girls, but trash at least gets picked up….

See youz at the shore Jersey Girl….BRING MONEY !!

 

You know you would...

 

 

VERSUS: Bob Marley VS Stevie Wonder

24 Jun

Jammin vs Master Blaster

Stevie Wonder &Bob Marley

 

Bob Marley – Jammin

 

Stevie Wonder – Master Blaster

LOVE ♥: She or he won’t claim me

24 Jun

If you are not married to someone, then you are single.

THIS IS ACCORDING TO THE TAX MAN !!!

 

Relationship advice is hard to give. The reason being…everything has been done. Everything is old news to someone with experience. Finding a baseline can be hard. Here is positive baseline to stand on when considering or while in a relationship…

“You should be able to feel unconfined in a relationship. Relationship are a lot of commitment if not all commitment. One really has to love and RESPECT the other person. One will have to accept a persons flaws and all. As much as you want to change a person one should let that person live freely in the relationship and love and respect them for who/ what they are. (Doing so on both ends is hard to find thus the challenge and the magic). Lastly, with complete acceptance of one and other one will be able to be completely (YES COMPLETELY)  honest with the other person NO MATTER HOW MUCH IT HURTS (cause you have accepted and trust and respect each other and it will be from the heart)

NEGATIVITY

-Trust no one

-That’s too hard to do and I have to have the upper hand

-All my relationships have always worked out, that’s why I’ve had so many

DISCLAIMER: Result may vary. Enter Relationships AT YOUR OWN RISK. Stay in Relationships at your own risk.  

Pause for Superman

24 Jun

I hit the sky like Clark Kent

I hit disguise like Clark Kent

thank you Juan Internet Jones

*RESUME*

VERSUS: Ointments Vs Creams

24 Jun

VS

 

When you go to a pharmacy, for most skin disorders (or what have you) you will find the same solutions formulated in ointment or creams.

Is the difference is mainly semantics?  NO. 

The two formulations have distinct differences which are important so you can choose which one is best for you. The type of formulation is the first difference between creams and ointments.

 

FACT ONE: WATER

Cream is primarily water based. Basically, it is oil in water.

BUT

Ointment is based in oil. It means it is a preparation of water in oil.

-Look at the specific percentage of water and oil content of ointments and creams. An ointment consists of 80 percent oil and 20 percent water. Creams are generally composed of 50 percent water and 50 percent oil. Some cream products have much lower oil component.

 

FACT TWO: SPREADY-NESS-NESS

Spreadability-ness  is a major difference between ointment and cream.

Ointments are greasier and they have thicker consistencies. One may not be able to spread ointments over large areas of the skin.

BUT

Creams have lighter consistencies so these work better if you want to cover large areas.

-Creams can be quickly absorbed by the skin. Ointments on the other hand stay longer on the surface of the skin and not easily absorbed. Ointments are best used on dry skin. They will keep the skin moist for longer periods thus promoting faster healing. Creams promote skin dryness. So they are better used on oily and greasy skin conditions.

DONT ASK ME, ASK YOUR DOCTOR IF YOU HAVE ONE which one is best for you !!!

Cream or Ointment.

The difference between creams and ointments boil down to their chief components. The former is water-based while the latter is oil-based.

Poft Zorn: Help Fight Oral Poverty

24 Jun

(clicking pictures below to enlarge them is not work safe)

 

 


Steak and BJ day is every Febuary 14…well they will be having Christmas in July…

Fight Oral Poverty Today and everyday you can….it’s free…Women and men around the world….AND NOT GOT DAM CHILDREN….

notice the mushroom tip

Friday Footwear: Fake Jordans…not a good look

24 Jun

If you are a sneaker head then you already know

Pee po never get it when it comes to Jordans. They can’t be just on your feet.

If you got some fake ones I can’t knock your hustle.

THE BOX

. The first place to check is the production numbers. You do this by matching the number on the inside tag with the number on the box.

.Fake Jordan box tags usually give a sign of spelling mistakes or acronyms. Air Jordan 7 Retro greater than but not equal to A JRDN 7 RET

.Is your box small, like a woman’s shoe would come in….then it’s a fake box that will most likely have fake shoes.

. The box that fake Air Jordans come in doesn’t have the same print quality as the authentic Air Jordan boxes. Click on the photo to the right to see an enlarged example.

 .Retro card inside the box obviously copied or otherwise fake looking, the shoes probably are too.

. All your Air Jordans have their release dates, to the day, printed on the tag! Use this info to double check rarity, and as a check to determine between Air Jordan Retros and Originals.
THE LOGO

. Look for the Jumpman logo on chrome lace ends, for shoes that come with them.

.Look for 4 finger and one shoe lace stiched on each shoe of the Jumpman. Make sure it’s not just painted on the shoes. Your Jumpman should NOT have 3 fingers….

. There are No orange Nike tags.

. Look for obvious deformities in your jumpman logos! Misshapen arms, midsections, heads…take a look at the jumpman to the right, for instance.

. Compared to Real Jordans the Fake Jordans will have compress numbers and lighter shades of color (that will not hold up for years). What should be patent or gloss will be dull.

 

THE SHOES

. The original & retro ones are the only Air Jordan to feature the swoosh on the outside. However, the original 2 – 8’s do feature one on the insole. Besides those shoes, Nike swoosh’s on Air Jordans means beware.

. Your shoes should never be wrapped in tissue paper, only the standard brownish paper standard on most Nike shoes.

. Beware unbelievable colors! Check our model guide for a COMPLETE listing of colorways.

.Shoes shipped from Asia are sometimes good.

. Any shoe marked “B” grade on a website or in a shoe means it has a defect. These shoes are commonly available at factory outlets, or wholesalers that would have ties to Nike corporate.

.Fake Jordans are shorter in height.

.Playing for high quality shoe with high quality materials means the shoe is gonna look the same for some years. If it looks limp out of the box then they are no good. (Tounge, toe, heal)

. Imperfections. Real Jordans are smooth all the way around inside and out. Though Fake Jordans may come from the same stencil they will be ‘unsmooth’ with small triangles on the guts/ cuts/ edges. They will have strings…chilling…that is not Real Jordan quality.

. Real Jordans shoes the colors don’t bleed in to other colors. They will miss an edge before they leak over. If they miss then they are usually B grade imperfections sold at outlets.

.There are a like 2 Jordans that you can remove the insole. The XXI, the  Fly Wade, and i forget the other one. If you can remove your soles you are in trouble. If you can remove them for whatever reason…the stitching wont look like you did it late friday night with a gun to your head.

.The laces can be purchased….then they are Fake, usually….

THE SOUL

. Carbon Fiber is hard as heck. Fake Jordans have carbon fiber painted on some plastic. (the checker box black and grey pattern that is hard as on your instep on the outsole). You can scratch the paint off, and bend it. You can’t bend carbon fiber on your REAL Jordans…

THE TAG

.If you take a flash light and hold it behind the white tag inside the shoe you will notice white perforations on the side of the tag. You have fakes.

THE LINE

Each line has a fake. I didn’t do the research. I was lazy. Fakes are out there. Fake 2’s…Fake 5’s…Fake 7’s…Fake 11’s…Fake Fake FAKE. 

 

It’s hard to spot a fake, and some fakes look better and even make more sense than originals. Fakes are good to play ball in. Fakes are good to take to All-Star Weekend. The only thing wrong with fakes is that I will know, the next sneaker head will know, and sadly, you already know.

JORDAN PE’S

There ARE a LOT of player PE (Player Edition) shoes out there. Jason Kid, Ray Allen, Mike Bibby and Gary Payton have some Jordans for you in some color ways. Eddie Jones and Carmello also have excellent PE that you would think are fake. NO. they are Real Jordans that look Fake. If it’s too good to be true though…they probably are fake.

REAL PLAYER PE

RAY ALLEN 13'S

 

PENNY 9'S

Drop Top Escalade

22 Jun

Hurricane Chris or Lil Wayne said it first…

Then somebody made one

THANK YOU JUAN INTERNET JONES…always one step ahead of me

 

Dave Chappelle YOU Old Dirty Bastard

22 Jun

SO you remember the Rick James bit…the one Dave Chappelle did so well

(I love that Dave went out on top and we still want more)

Well Dave’s crew got that out fit from the one OSIRUS, O.D.B., Rusty, Dirt McGirt,  Dirt Schultz…the outfit looks straight out the Old D B video for Brookyn Zoo, Shimmy Shimmy Ya, at stop point 1:49 (or around there depending on the video.), dude even does the robot….hmmm.

In this song though to this day I don’t know how they played it on the radie. Oh baby I like raw sex !?!… Love it….shimmy yuh

Shout out the Wu. All yall. RIP ODB.

Coors Light Train – Silver Bullet History

22 Jun

So Coors couldn’t use a real silver bullet with werewolves and cowboys n whut not because guns dnt kill people, bullets kill people, it’s just bad press.

So Coors got them selves a SILVER BULLET TRAIN to also shed a redneck image vampire hunter image (copyright) ©

The Truth about Coors

Coors invented the pollution free push tab can, however, (YES…push tab) so consumers disliked the top and it was discontinued soon afterward. The long and current slogan of  “Silver Bullet” to describe Coors Light is not for the beer but for the silver colored can in which the beer is packaged. Coors Light was once produced in the “yellow bellied” cans like Coors Banquet, however, when the yellow coloring was removed and the can was left mostly Silver, many dubbed the beer as “The Silver Bullet”.

How this train works?

Two big wheels chugging on a refrigerated chassis with sonic cold air intake that helps your imagination think a super fast train that has semi attractive people on it with Coors Light for FREE is on its way to pick you up after a long day at work…then bam it’s over and something about you kidneys….


History

Coors has single largest brewing company in the world in Colorado

 

PERVERTED INTERNET COORS TRAIN EXPRESS DEFINITION

When a guy uses Icy-Hot to lube up a condom then proceeds to insert his penis into the woman’s vagina. It’s called this due to the Coors commercials with the Coors train freezing everything. The penis is the train.
You can make it a Coors Train Express if she notices that her vagina feels wierd, at which point, you pull out and run like an express train.

 

VERSUS: Adults vs Similac

22 Jun

While not toxic to adults, most baby formulas don’t taste good to adults, and most have a lot of fat (which the babies need).

VERSUS: BABIES VS ENSURE

Pediasure is Ensure for kids…this should be much funnier but it’s not

Wipe the Coal from My Eye

22 Jun

…and see who’s this paging me, and why

 

EVER WONDER WHERE YOU EYE BOOGERS COME FROM ??
Simple explanation…

Eye snot in the corner of one’s eye upon waking is a normal buildup of tears, mucous, and dirt that appears at the edge of the eyelids after sleep, sometimes inaccurately called mucopurulent discharge.

Intermediate explanation…

These fluids are full of bacteria, and cause a reaction of the eye to produce more tears. The bacteria then feast on the tears but are soon fought off by the body’s immune system, causing the inflammation to pass within a few hours. What you are left with is the remains of the battle field stuck in your eye. The proteins coagulate and become first sticky and then rock hard as they crystallize.

Tecnical explanation…

The organ plica semilunaris, located around the eye, secretes a sticky substance that collects dust/pollen that could be in your eye, obviously to prevent damage to the cornea. This is then transported outside of the eye and of course dries out to form the, er, ‘sleep boogers’.

Internets explanation…

I reckon this is more noticeable when we wake up because we don’t blink while asleep, and blinking/rubbing our eyes would really eliminate any trace or reason for this to become evident causing “sleep crud,” “crud,” “sleep,” “crisp,” “crispies,” “sleep crispies”, “coal” in your eyes.

 

Cats are aliens, the cat moan proves it

22 Jun

click me and feel my POWER

 

Garfield…Alf…

That’s just starters

Cats are…welllll….you know cute stuff. Cats act pretty crazy though. Compared to dogs they are not your average animal. Mannerisms or catterisms are strange in a cute kind of way. THE looking aways when you appoligize to them. THE running up on you like YO what’s up…CAT stuff. I’m not gonna list it.

What makes cat’s aliens to me, LIKE DOLPHINS, and ROACHES is the sound..

The sound cats make when they talk. Not the mating call but the moaning  communication that so eerie…youtube –  Weird cat moan- that stuff is ALIEN…I TOLD YOU FIRST !!!

 

OH DEBBIE LOVES CATS IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT. THIS IS THE FIRST DOCUMENTED CAT BRAIN TRANSPLANT SLAVE DRONE….

YOUTUBE – eHarmony Video Bio

 

 

Poft Zorn: Did you want Breast or Butt ?

15 Jun

Brest infographic but it doesnt tell you how to make them bigger…

click it to make it bigger

Get a Butt Like Kim Kardashian in 4 Minutes

(AS TOLD BY A GUY THAT SOUNDS LIKE HE IS FROM DETRIOT)

The key is to do hip trust…look up hip thrust or watch  below

This is a funny ass video…no pun