Dam That Bum….

12 Jun

I’m not talking about ass…or buttocks…or bum bums…..

I’m talking about a filthy dirty bum, the one not on your backside that you are sitting on butt the ones down town that ask you for money…


BUMS – noun – defined by Vice Vega in Pulp Fiction

Those pieces of sh** out there who beg for change. They walk around like a bunch of fuckin’ zombies, sleeping garbage bins, eat what I throw away, and dogs piss on ’em. They got a word for ’em, they’re called bums. And without a job, residence, or legal tender, that’s what you’re gonna be — a f***in’ bum!

Thank you Vince, now here we go…

I am sick of bums and their bum signs. Bums get money because:

Bums have bank accounts (ask tellers)
Bums have deoderant, bums take showers (dollar store)
Bums get offered help (don’t take it)
Bums get food (‘oh i’m allergic)
Bums get offered shelter (how am I gonna score drugs at the shelter)
Where are bums when it snows (I look under bridges like Alex in Clockwork Orange…I don’t see the bums)

Bums have options…oh you dint know ?!?!

That bum life is too sweet. You see bums with funny signs?? Well I don’t. I see bums with cells phones, jordans, bikes, dogs, cats, water, book bags, belts, aluminum cans. DO YOU KNOW YOU CAN GET PAAAAIIIID OFF ALUMINUM CANS.  I personally got 30$ for a hand full of cans, imagine if I had two shopping carts and a 2 big contractor garbage bag of cans like bums do…YOU CAN GET 40-60 CENTS A POUND FROM CANS. Imagine if all you did was go around the city collecting cans cause you had no home and that was basically your bum lively hood. Yes, you would have money. I know !!

Bums be on the drugs. Why do bums use drugs. Cause bums get paid. You are at your desk typing for 15$ an hour while a bum is ear humping for $22+ an hour. You know home many people go into the city a day at major concourses? The answer: a stupid amount. If one in 5 or even one in 25 give you a dollar at for 5 hours. The math is out there. I watch bums. I see their comeuppance every week day.  Then bums have the nerve to turn in early…BUM HOURS. You going home, they getting off in three hours, soon as rush hour die down. And then you see them their in the morning. Not dead or famished. Ready to go to work…on your pockets. Or they stayed at the shelter and rolled out early.

BUMS GET MONEY. Up at 6AM. A break at 10- 11. Back on from 11 to 2. Break from 2 – 3. Back on from 3 to 6, maybe 7. It’s a 12 hour day. They’re not going home to pick the kids up or WHATEVER. They are home where you see them at. Some even do the Friday nite Saturday nite shift. Drunk people after a party…cash in hand. Clumsy girl all over. Cash in hand. Feel sorry for a bum cause you just got wasted and he was out in the cold hungry so you gave him 20 bucks cause you just got paided. CASH IN HAND.


Bums get paid…true story by Cezl

A bum asked me for 50 cents. I did my classic “I don’t got it !!!” This is late at night now after 9pm. The bum says “I can look at you and tell u don’t got it, but I ask any way”. The bum continues, “see a person like me…’I GOT IT’ “. Of course I’m like, what are you taking about…then the bum breaks out like $800. All in $20s, $100s like yo, I don’t keep ones on me. I could help you out but I need it, ha haaaa, and this is all from tonite playa.” You may be living the good life out here partying throwing away your money, but I’m out here gettn paid (bum cough)”…I just shook my head and rolled…a bum had more cash in his hand than I had pound FAIL (#FAIL). Someone said I should have kicked his ass and took the money.

*PAUSE* – 

Stealing from a bum # ONE,

# TWO touching a bum


Bums have phones (on vibrate),

Bums eat wel, very well. Outside dumpsters of  Mortons/ Ruth Chis/ Capitol Grill plus there is a gang of none bums that take food from restaurant and bring them to their homes. Restaurants have to throw away food because of standards so people make out by taking them out the trash.

Bum get around town just fine on public transportation (I’ve seen the same bum everywhere)

Bums have bicycles…


Bum aint tryn use that bum money on cloths to stay fresh, gotta stay bummy and dilapidated looking.

If you a bum and you can read this….I respect your hustle…get that money playboy/ girl – BUM…

how do bums have pets?

I'm PAID !!




One Response to “Dam That Bum….”


  1. Bum Start Up Kit « Cez'L - February 28, 2012

    […] out bum? You’ve gotta get your act together. Third….location, location, location…(Dam Dat Bum). Refer to the Dam Dat Bum post for location and how your peers make […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: