Love: eHow to Handle an Ugly Relationship

9 Aug

Always fighting….things getting ‘Ugly up in here’ ??

Get the drop on your partner by using these forms of trickery to get them in your good graces….

Everybody in a relationship needs to learn how to handle confrontations and disputes. Now, you have the choice: quit now and learn nothing now, (which translates into having to learn the same lesson in the next relationship) or stay put and learn how to fight well now.

#1 Stop and look and listen.

Do you both start arguing for, seemingly, no reason? Well, usually this starts when there isn’t much communication. Start opening up to each other. Talk about the simplest things such as how was your day? What are you doing today and so on and so on. (Communication is part of the big 3 C’s in relationships; Chemistry, compatibility and communication. Without proper open communication, even none verbal, you are surely doomed fool. Two people talk, two persons listen)

#2 Learn some reflective listening techniques. You will be surprised of the positive impact it has on any relationship; and the other person will feel really listened to this time. (When you listen and reflect the listening with feedback *not right away but down the road maybe sometimes* appreciation starts to develop FAST. “That MF’er was actually listening and responded, holy hell !!” Also feeling and argument coming on?? Throw positive things out there, for REFLECT that ish away. If the person presses on or doesn’t wait till later then they might be a jerk and THIS ARGUING  WILL DEFINE YOUR RELATIONSHIP. )

#3 Evaluate how YOU feel. Do you just feel like it’s not the ‘same’ anymore? Talk to your partner and ask if they feel the same way. If they don’t, then let them know WHY  YOOOOU think it’s different and what you want to happen. If your partner does agree then both take the time to talk about what has changed and what has stayed the same. And ask: “Was it caused by something I did?” Then, continue exploring when you do things they like, and when what you do cools people off.  (Find out why, you never know peoples past experiences. That thing could be a constant reminder of why yal need to break up, when yal want to be together. Common ground and build a good relationship foundation will save destruction in the future most times. Communicate how you feel  fool)

#4If there is a big change such as the way that they use to hug you or hold you, then you need to explore what happened. There is a message they are sending you there. Try to ask why, what, and let them know how much you miss this behavior from them. (If things are changing, you not getting those HUGS you used to get? Is there an attitude when kisses are in order? It’s a BIG sign of stages of letting go, pulling back. Get back what’s yours (through communications) cause this is a breakdown in chemistry. Find the leak. )

#5 Think about how you are feeling towards each other. Do you want to be with your partner, the next minute, you don’t? This happens to a lot of us, but we just won’t admit it. At this point, you REALLY need to think about what YOU want and whats going to make YOU happy. Think about how you’ll feel not being with that person. How you’d feel if they were to move on. Then only you will know what the next step is. (Re-read, don’t waste your time, one life to live and all that jazz. Eating is cheating)

These 5 steps are not full/ fool proof. Relationships are hard. Building together is key. Knowing what a relationship is IZ key. The three C’z are extremely key.

*Chemistry – if you don’t really like someone and you get them pregnant or STD’ed THEN you will realize all the stuff the back of your head was telling you from DAY 1.

*Compatibility – Do you eat Sushi. Do you eat Pork. Will our kids eat Sushi or Pork. What church you go to, you like the debil !?! You like to go camping, well I like the city. Note these differences. You may be able to communicate through them, but most likely these will be potholes that bust out into an embarrassing moment at the mall or a restaurant and a cab ride home with your stuff out side. “Why are you up so early…come back to bed…”

*Communication – Attitude, response time, honesty, dedication, reliability. The responses you want to hear, not the ones you want to deal with because he offers free plumbing and you have that tight drain. YOU WILL DROWN IN YOUR OWN INIQUITIES. Talk it out. Get a resolution, you have too much confusion. Communication will move mountains and supersede Chemistry and Compatibility at times…but ALL THREE HAVE TO WORK, not just ONE.

Black Eye Peas – SHUT UP !

Aaliyah – We Need a Resolution (feat Tim)

“were your fingers broke ??” (Classic)

Steve Jo  – Definition of a Real Girlfriend

( Steve Jo is CRAZY )

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