Super Mario Bros Wii is EVIL

12 Feb

Soo. I played Mario Bros 3. I beat every level. Handily.

I beat the crap out of Mario Bros 2. Wasn’t very hard. Mario 1, the original super Mario (not the one with the pipes). Mario 1 i haven’t seen every level nor did I care to. I just beat it. Lost Levels…the REAL Mario Bros 1 game. Hard as hell. Just hard for no reasons with many ‘set ups’ for death, many situations that taught you not to be greedy,  impossible secrets, and seemingly endless death from every angle…

Mario World was also a game I beat handily. The yellow worm things on that tree level was about as hard as it got and I only say that cause that’s the only times I remember dying.

N64 Mario got no playing time, Mario Galaxy seemed to far fetched. Mario KART…well you already know that was played late into the hours of the nite. Beat most of smash Bros Wii (stupid 99%) and beat ALL of Mario Kart Wii (another hard game, but fair).

Wii made a game that paid tribute to the Super Mario 3/ World Series. They named it Super Mario Bros Wii. They should have named it Super Mario Bros Wii Revenge of the Lost Level Get ready to die over and over as 1 of 4 people

*I hated that you couldn’t use Luigi by himself in Mario Wii, I always thought used him in Mario World by killing off Mario.

Mario Wii is a fun game. Just be ready to die. Every move is a death. Every flicker of your Wii-mote could cause you certain death as well. As the level increase you you almost seem to wonder why you are playing this game. You ask yourself, ?? Why am I going back for these large star coins?? Why am I going back to World one for power ups and 1-ups.

In the great words of the ‘Angry Nintendo Nerd’ – “You jump left, you die, you jump right, you die, you go up, you die, you move down, you die, DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE !!!!” I am well into my adult years and I can’t imagine a small child playing this game. I can’t imagine most teenagers playing this game. I mean playing it and enjoying it. IT IS A DEFINITION OF A CHALLENGE WITH A PINCH OF SUPER MARIO 3 BUT ALL THE GIMMICKS OF LOST LEVELS.

I beat the game. I beat all the board (not all the star level…F that S…I got all the star coins, except one… World 7 air board secret level at the top the middle star coin. World 8 was almost ridiculous but not as frustrating as 2 and 3 and 4 and 5 and 6 and 7. The 8th level wasn’t even that hard now that i think about it…until you get to the second part of Bowsers castle. (Koopa Jr in the air ship…how were you suppose to figure out that you have to stomp the ground…how when you never do it again…how??). Anyway, beating Bowser was a thrill ride.

Thanx Nintendo. You made me hate Mario. Well just the game Mario Bros Wii. So stupid the amount of ways I died in this game…the worst part is going back to a board and seeing how easy it actually was and / or seeing the video of Mario floating through the boards like it’s nothing. The Luigi tutorials are insulting. They only show how hard the game is that if you die enough times Luigi pops out and shows you how to beat the level. (Ice boards are most insulting cause he uses the slide to his advantage most times while you’ll slide to DEATH)

Grief….but I played that game like there was no tomorrow so I got my money’s worth.

**I was suppose to write this post a LOOOONGG time ago and just never did.**

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